Then of course, they all GASPED :O.
And proceeded to warn me that giving birth at home is very very dangerous and that it is going to be so messy.
lol. Why do I even say things like this?
Because, in fact, giving birth at home is safer than giving birth at a hospital. There is a less mortality rate, less cesarean rate, and little to no tearing (episiotomy's pointless!).
And why is this folks? Because, alhamdullilah, believe it or not OUR BODIES WERE MADE FOR DELIVERING BABIES. Its such a great thing too, and its actually not a medical event. You could try to NOT push and NOT have that baby- and without you even pushing you WILL give birth to that child. SUBHANALLAH its amazing!!
Now this is why I'm against the medicine they give at hospitals. It goes something like this.
1) They hook you up to i.v.'s. They do this to keep you from dehydrating.
2) They do not let you drink or eat anything once they start to induce you. They do this so you don't throw up (just in case) you could choke to death. This being because you are on your back, which is medically THE WORST POSSIBLE POSITION TO EVER EVER give birth in. Oh, and throwing up is messy so of course everyone rather to not clean it up.
3)Because they do not allow you to drink or eat, they hook you up to i.v.'s. (I know, practically sounds like I ran around in a circle and repeated myself).
4) Then, the medicine they give you to help speed along your contractions (so you can give birth in the time that they deem is correct) which makes you have VERY VERY strong contractions.
5) In fact, this same medicine, actually makes you labor longer.
6) So because the contractions are so strong, so fast, and (most likely you can't even feel your contractions anyway by now) your baby has now gone into distress.
7) So now that your baby is in danger, because of the medicine that was given to you, you now have no choice but to have a c-section.
8) After your baby is born, and you now are having staples put onto your stomach, they say thank god you were at a hospital so they could save your baby.
Again, that is why I'm having a natural, no medicine, home birth. Inshallah!
Of course if you are high risk, or something else has been detected to be wrong with your pregnancy, then the hospital is an absolutely PERFECT way to give birth. Because then you do need medical intervention. Most of the time, however, the problems that occur are usually the hospitals fault. Well, the MEDICINE's fault actually. The doctors and nurses are just doing their job.
I've been to live births at hospital and subhanallah the medical rape those women went through was agonizing. They didn't understand that their bodies could handle giving birth without medical intervention and yallah I felt so bad for them. I've also seen home births and mashallah it was something so peaceful, private, and wonderful to experience.
The women at the masjid asked me who would clean up the mess- I told them my husband, to which they absolutely laughed at and said "no no, its much too messy." Um, again I've seen hospital births and home births and NEITHER of those are very messy. I mean yeah maybe if you're up walking around as you are bleeding, but no...you labor over some chux pads and wisk that away and you're good. And even if it was, my husband would definitely clean it up. He's not some man who waits in the hall way as his wife gives birth, hell no!
Alhamdullilah I'm very glad that I myself (and my three brothers and sister) were all born at home. Thanks for looking out for me mom, you're the best ;).
p.s. I know most of you women probably did have your children at a hospital, so don't think I am dissing any of you at all. Most likely you probably had no clue about what the medicine does to you (look up yourself, I SWEAR I'm not making it up) because we were raised only thinking that hospitals are the way to go and besides it wouldn't be your fault anyway. But since you've read this, I URGE AND BEG YOU TO CHECK OUT HOME BIRTHS! and also, home birth doesn't mean giving birth by yourself (though people do that too, mashallah!!!). It means giving birth with a midwife, a completely certified person who has seen many live births before they themselves delivered children (where as many ob's help deliver a child without having EVER seen it done in person before their first time).
To read more about home births:
http://www.pregnancy-info.net/homebirths.html
Here are stories about UNASSISTED HOME BIRTHS :
http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/ucstories/index.html
Story about a Home Birth with a Midwife:
http://www.modernwife.com/home-birth.html
And a movie by Ricki Lake and why she had home birth (the best movie out there you HAVE TO SEE IT!!) http://www.letmewatchthis.com/movie-5995-The-Business-of-Being-Born
That is a direct link to download and watch the movie.
(She is giving birth in a pool, a VERY good way to give birth because it is relaxing, and also helps when you stretch so your perineum does not rip!! Don't worry, its impossible for your baby to drown inshallah :D )EDIT: Our lovely Sakeenah pointed out in the comments that while you might have to be very hard nosed about your decision, you CAN have a completely natural birth while in the hospital, inshallah. There are usually midwives that work at OB/GYN offices and they tend to always assist births at hospitals.
Also, you can have a natural home birth at a BIRTHING CENTER, which is like a little hospital for midwives. The birthing center is where women who want natural birth can go to a facility, to a room usually very comfortable like they would have at home...they can walk, eat, video record, and have as many people as they want there.
36 comments:
wait till you have a child before making your comments.
If you choose a home birth make sure that you are not too far from an hospital.
If your baby needs assistance or if you have a retained placenta or post partum hemorrhage you will realise why the death rate of women delivering in third world countries are so high.
And for your info, a baby can't od on pictocin lol
A mom and labour& delivery Rn
@anonymous: Lol why are you too afraid to say who you are?? And just because i myself have not given birth doesn't mean I'm ignorant enough to believe that you HAVE to give birth in a hospital when nothing is wrong with your child. And even if you can't o.d. on pitocin- whatever they gave her the baby o.d. on so it really doesn't matter.
Also, the statistics of death rate of women delivering in third world countries are based on poor hospital help. Like I said, if a woman needs a hospital then of course she needs to go! But if she is fine, she can deliver perfectly fine without any interruption at a hospital.
Plus, you are a labor and delivery RN, so of course you would be against anything else.
@Anonymous: This is from a fellow RN: Judith A. Lothian, RN, PhD, LCCE, FACCE:
Women choose to give birth in hospitals because they believe it is “safer” than birth outside the hospital. In fact, laboring and giving birth in most hospitals create a set of physiologic responses that actually occur when we feel unsafe and unprotected. In the typical hospital environment, women are disturbed at every turn—with machines, intrusions, strangers, and a pervasive lack of privacy. The shadow of “things going terribly wrong at any moment” follows women from one contraction to another. Together, these fears contribute in powerful ways to the release of stress hormones, moving women into an attitude of physiologic fight or flight. On an intellectual level, a woman may believe that the hospital is a safe, protected environment, but her body reacts quite differently. No matter what her head says, her body gets the message loud and clear. Her body responds on a primal, intuitive level, kicking automatically into fight-or-flight mode and dramatically altering the process of labor and birth. In choosing modern medical “safety,” women are stressed physiologically, which makes labor and birth more difficult. The lack of attention to women’s inherent need to not be disturbed in the typical hospital environment has set the stage for an almost 27% cesarean rate, the routine use of epidurals in labor, the high rates of augmentation of labor, and the high incidence of instrument deliveries in the United States.
You will hear many of other qualified people who agree with this.
RISKS OF PITOCIN:
* an allergic reaction (shortness of breath; closing of the throat; hives; swelling of the lips, face, or tongue; rash; or fainting);
* difficulty urinating;
* chest pain or irregular heart beat;
* difficulty breathing;
* confusion;
* sudden weight gain or excessive swelling;
* severe headache;
* rash;
* excessive vaginal bleeding; or
* seizures.
EFFECTS OF EPIDURALS:
*I'm sure you know there are many,
one of the worst being the fact that it messes with the natural oxytocin that is produced in a woman so that it :messes up the contractions, and also ruins the oxytocin that a woman produces to bond with her child.
Enemas:
If you go natural, your body cleans itself out- YOU DON'T NEED ENEMAS!
Subhanallah Allah swt is the best of planners...he has made the woman's body perfect. Everything it needs happens on its own : perfect contractions, self-cleansing, hormones to bond with the baby, endorphins to get rid of the pain...so much more!
Allah is the greatest, anyone who can go natural, do it. Anyone who has medical issues, than alhamdullilah you have the hospital who will inshallah deliver your child.
Women have been giving birth since the beginning of time without medicine, and they can do it now. If all the doctors, ob's, etc were to disappear, we'd still be having babies.
Just the mere thought of Home Delivery sends shudders down my spine uhhhh!
@Barbie Jones: LOL I know for a lot of women it does :D I think it wouldn't be as scary for a lot of women if they weren't constantly bombarded with images of women on tv screaming for their life or constantly being rushed to have a c-section. If they were able to see on a more daily basis (or whenever they happen to come across a woman giving birth) that women can actually handle natural birth wonderfully they'd be a lot less fearful.
Wallahi, I would love to give birth at home. My labor and delivery the first time around was HELL. too much pitocin, too little, too much, too little. 36 hours and an epidural later, and my son finally emerged. I dont want to go through that this time, seriously. But, we are poor and have state medical insurance and I can't afford to hire a midwife to come to my home. And, my arab husband would never allow a home birth, being soo thoroughly convinced by society that hospitals are the only way.
And to anyone who thinks the US is in anyway superior in their concept of giving birth, the best ways, etc. check this out: we have one of THE HIGHEST infant/maternal mortality rates among the "developed countries". 1 in 3 births is a c-section nowadays. why? babies aren't getting any bigger and cervixes any smaller: doctors need to get home before dinner is cold and a c-section gives them that ability, no relying on nature to take her sweet time.
@Um Abdullah: Salaamu alaikum sister, I so sorry for what you were put through!
Is there any way you could try to convince your husband? Perhaps convince him to at least meet this midwife so she can explain things to him? Show him proofs of how bad the medicine they give you can be (because obviously you saw what the pitocin can do).
I believe it really is your right to have it at home. Inshallah he can be convinced :D But also, did you know that you can still deliver by a midwife at the hospital...its all the same except its not at home. Just be very stubborn if they want to 'help you along' because they want to go home and eat dinner.
Plus, I have state insurance and they cover midwives...what kind of insurance do you have??
As salam alaykum sister!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post! I just got done watching the movie and although I am not pregnant nor have ever been at least now I know what other options are out there. I will certainly look into home births much more when the time comes, insha'allah. I would LOOOOOVE to have a home birth. . .bring on the pain! LOL
Of course, with precautions. . .
Thanks again sis and may Allah bless you!
Salamualaikum!
Screw all that fancy stuff, women have been doing this since BEFORE hospitals were even around! Native americans, "cave people", and women even before THEM. that's what u have a midwife for, and if u feel like u need extra backup then call in a trained home nurse. hospital technology has gone up so much, but you're grandmothers and great grandmothers didn't even need all this stuff.
Al Trust in Allah inshaallah when this day comes around, and do what you feel is best for you and your child. Period. Not to mention, Doctors and nurses of course will tell u how important it is to be in a hospital, they're getting paid! it costs 10,000 dollars+ in america to have a kid, and most of that is just for the room. HA.
Not to mention, we know a fellow blogger, ms. tuttie who had TWO successful home births Alhumdulilah wa mashaallah!
MashaAllah, yes I know about Ms. Tuttie's two homebirths.
Yes, I actually have a midwife, alhamdulillah, but not the kind that will come to my house. (sigh).
you can deliver safely in a hospital with a delivery plan that prevents a" medical birth"
My aunt died in a home birth, bleed to death before the ambulance could reach her!!!
So it' not an option for me and my futur child.
Why take the risk???
You never know when a "normal birth" turns into a high risk delivery, would you take the chance with your child??????
Sophie Dugas
SubhanAllah, I just finished the movie and I am convinced how badly I want my birth experience to be natural. I had so much pitocin and all that...it was just awful with my first baby. This time around...i swear I will be a bad patient. ha ha. I will punch people if they tell me what I can and cannot do while I am in labor. Although i have a midwife, I am not convinced she is a "natural" as I would prefer.
Essalam Alaikum Sis, Masha'allah you have a lovely blog here! I actually totally relate to having babies at home, I have had four at home, Masha'allah. My first was a c-section because they said I was too small and the baby was too big... blah blah blah. I went on to birth all bigger babies at home with a wonderful midwife! May Allah make your path easy!
its worth mentioning that it is possible to have a hospital birth without all the things u mentioned, believe me you will have to act like a bitch about it but its worth it.
yes things can go from perfect to life threatening very quickly in a home birth but chances are things would have been the same if you had delivered in hospital. far too many people forget that midwives are trained to deliver baby's and act as though they are some old hippies with no medical background.
@Elisa: BRING ON THE PAIN lolll you're hilarious! mashallah! I'm glad i could shed a little light on a different way to give birth :D
@Life's Balance Beam: That's one of the reasons why Ricki Lakes movie is called " the BUSINESS of being born" because its a total medical industry to make money, anyone who says other wise is a liar. Like you said easily it cost between 10,000 to 15,000 to have a baby in America...did you know, with a midwife the highest is about 5600? And everyone I know says that is too much! 2500-4000 is on the lower end. :D
@Anonymous "sophie Dugas" (or troll?): Its sad to hear the event of your aunt bleeding to death, but if she bled that fast it could have happened at the hospital, Allah swt knows best. A (muslim) woman who dies in childbirth dies as a martyr.
Again, if what you are saying is true (and I only doubt it because you have suddenly come out of the woodwork to comment having never commented before) then trust me, its extremely rare, and again obviously there was a complication that would have occurred anywhere.
@Umm Abdullah: Inshallah I really hope you can at least have a natural birth! Talk to your midwife about it...tell them you won't let them induce you no matter how long your labor is taking. Plus, when your water breaks they make you give birth within (something like 30 hours or so) due to infections possibly arising. I know a woman who went two weeks after her water broke and she gave birth to a healthy baby!! alhamdullilah!
Also, I am going to refuse pap smears as they have already done them to me, and there is no need for more. Doctors have actually admitted that if you have had one done you don't need one every year (more like every couple of years) and if you are a virgin you do not need them at all.
Again, Inshallah you can still have a natural birth! I recommend going to the library or online and reading as much as you can about natural birth and writing down everything you DON'T want done so you can take it in to your midwife.
May Allah swt bless you with a very healthy child and a very peaceful easy birth, ameen!
@Jennifer: mashallah four home births! I'm sooo happy to hear that. My aunt actually had the same thing done to her as they did to you. In her case they told her the baby was TOO BIG! and she had to go be induced RIGHT NOW! They cut her open (c-section) and her child was...7 pounds. Definitely NOT too big. C-sections sound SO routine now (because they are) but it is a serious surgery. You of course know that (and I'm soo happy you went with home births after that!!).
@Sakeenah: Mashallah you are right, I should have mentioned that!! I'll go back and edit it for anyone who doesn't read the comments, inshallah. I think women need to be educated about birth and their rights. Also about midwives. I had somebody ask me if I was going to give birth in the midwives office! what?!! and they meant it as in personal office, not a birthing center!
salaam alaikum
I always wanted a home birth too! Unfortunately its quite expensive and we decided to go to the hospital instead. I was against all drugs in the begining knowing all the side effects of pitocin, epirdural etc. When I was 2cm dilated i honestly felt like i was dying from the pain (not to scare you or anything lol). I gave in and begged the doctors for an epidural. Up until that moment everything was fine with our baby. After the epidural, our babys heart rate dropped and i had to be rushed into the delivery room. Our daughter was born covered in meconium and had to be rushed away to have to removed from her lungs, nose etc. Alhamdulillah she was fine but everyone was scared she wasnt going to make it because she has so much meconium covering her lungs, nose etc. I know without a doubt the epidural caused this to happen which is why with my next child inshaAllah i am going drug free. Home births are much safer than births in a hospital. Also while she was being taken away they gave her the Hep B vaccine which i had specifically told them i didnt want her to get (its a pointless vaccine for those who have stds etc). They gave it to her anyway and lied to me and said it wouldnt be done until the later. I only found out when i was being discharged 3 days later that they gave it to her shortly after she was born!!! Had i had a home birth i never would have had to stress about this!
I would recommend getting a doula and taking child birth classes to deal with ways of coping with the pain during birth!
i forgot to add that i saw that documentary with ricky lake and it was so informative! both my husband and i watched it together its a must see for everyone!
@Rene´s Bare Essentials:
You would not believe how many times I have heard women tell me this EXACT thing has happened! I worry about this happening to me. Inshallah My pregnancy will be healthy and I can just have a home birth, inshallah!
I think you should check again the prices for a home birth...it is impossible for them to be higher than the hospital! (unless its not covered by your insurance that is..). And I'm not saying that in a rude way lol I just mean that not once have I ever known a woman to say its more expensive (that is, if she is paying out of pocket for a home birth rather than paying out of her pocket for a hospital birth. I know insurance makes a differene! :D )
@Rene´s Bare Essentials: I think I am going to make my husband watch it too! I'll just cover his eyes when the boobies pop up LOL.
Very proud that you and your hubby watched it together :) It seems a lot of men don't want to read/watch/learn about delivery (even if they accept home births).
Salam Alaikum,
It's not safe at all to have a birth at home, that's said by all renowned doctors. It's all about regressing in time. You can easily have your natural birth in a hospital without ANY DRUGS. I know many sisters who wanted to have a 100% natural birth, but when the contractions came, they became "crazy", started to cry and desperately wanted a anesthesia.
I would advise you, when you have your baby isA, to tell your doctor you want a natural birth, without any interventions. Not all problems can be detected during pregnancy. This friend of mine had a terrible labour and they had to use a forceps on her. If she had a baby at home she could have died!
Study more before taking a decision like this.
Also the statistics you wrote above are not true. Many women used to die in the past, and they still do, that's why when a muslim woman dies while giving birth she's considered a martyr and surely goes to Jannah. Never heard of any women having problems while giving a natural birth in the hospital.
May Allah bless you my sister.
@Muslimah: I'm sorry to say sister, but you are absolutely 100% wrong that it is dangerous to give birth at home when you have a healthy pregnancy. The statistics I showed are actually correct, and you can call any hospital or ob/gyn and ask them if a healthy pregnancy is safe to have at home. If it wasn't, insurances wouldn't cover it, and it would be illegal. However it is NOT illegal, as long as the midwife is certified. I, along with my siblings, and many other people I know were born at home. So saying it is completely unsafe is a very wrong assumption. Inshallah you do some research and watch the movie I posted so that you may understand more.
I had a friend do a home water birth and she absolutely loved it. I gave birth in the hospital, and essentially went med free. My OBGYN wasn't in town (thankfully) so I had a midwife who supported my decision to go natural. Alhumdullilah we were in the hospital where my son, who came early, could be placed on a respirator shortly after birth to help with his breathing.
I am all for natural births, and wouldn't have it any other way (except for out of necessity...emergency c-section, for example). Next time I will choose a midwife from the beginning. I will continue to use the hospital, though, since i've seen firsthand how they can be necessary in the event that an exceptional need arises.
hmm it's a bit like the to breastfeed or not debate isn't it? I would rather have a natural birth in a nice relaxing environment. screw having it in an ugly sterile hospital with those friggin blinding hospital lights (omg i HATE hospital lights!) And i can't imagine what all the drugs do to you or your baby :P yukky
nice post about home birth but don't say things like "medical rape", you kind of offended me with that as something like that never even crossed my mind in hospital and to be honest its a little immature to be saying something so bold when you havent had the experience yourself. true the c-section rate is going up but i think u must also show the statistics that stillbirth rate has decreased dramatically due to medical intervention, something to consider with a home birth. remember it isnt a competition, every woman is different. wat is important is that u and baby are safe, and that shouldnt be forgotton about if u are desperate to have baby naturally :)
@DD: Yes I guess it is like that debate, huh? Except as muslims there should be no debate because if you are able to breast feed your child it is actually obligatory to do that for two years. :D
@~x Aisha x~: I'm sorry Aisha for offending you. Those actually are not my words (though putting myself in that situation I know I'd feel the same way- if someone doesn't need to stick their fingers up me then why are they doing it) those words are actually from many women who have described it as that.
The reason for this post is because yes most women want a healthy outcome for their babies and the death rate in hospitals is EXTREMELY high, while home birth death rates are very low. That is because normal healthy births that are at home (well, NATURAL rather) do not have unnecessary 'medical' help, while women in the hospital who have perfectly healthy babies a lot of times have complications arise when they should not have had it done.
my God where did you ge tyour statistics or your comment????
Death in hospital higher than homebirth??? pro rata, come on!!!
I have to inform you that you are very ill informed!!!
Do your research before writing non sense!!
I had an emergency c section after 2 normal non medicated births in a hospital, my baby was blue when he was delivered and needed ressusitation, if I had been at home, he would be dead.
You can give birth in a safe hospital environment without any medication or interferences.
You write a birth plan, why would you choose to put the life of your infant at risk?????
Rose
yea i know i just meant among the general female population. in australia there's this big debate going on over breastfeeding. Personally i don't even think there should be a debate among non-Muslim mothers! i mean seriously, natural is the way to go!
I gave birth at a midwife unit that was attached to a hospital. I would have loved to do a homebirth, but this was the next best thing. Here is the link to my whole waterbirth story for anyone interested:
http://livininlaylaland.blogspot.com/2010/05/in-honor-of-mothers-day-laylas-birth.html
Masha Allah Sister, for standing strong in your beliefs and arming yourself with knowledge. I am an OB RN and I delivered in the hospital with my first born and I must say it was not a great experience regarding the medical interventions practically imposed on me. (I had my first child before I became an RN.) Alhamdulillah, I had very limited interventions with no complications. I am expecting now and I have to say so myself, I would rather deliver at home, insha Allah. Especially after working in OB and seeing the "politics" and "clinical map orders" the hospital policy follows. So coming from an OB nurse and sister in Islam, may Allah make it easy on us all for our decision to deliver in a hospital or at home. Allah knows best!
A Muslimah, Mother, and OB RN
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